Tweet Nisha @nishjamvwal
Recently a man at dinner asked- "Nisha please tell me what turns women on, women are so difficult to
figure out!"
Yes I agree! (and it might
take me a book to answer that one!)
Men
try to figure us out, but don't always succeed!
And yes things would be so much easier if they knew some few pointers,
so that they knew at those special moments what matters to us?
Don't get me wrong! I’m
not saying we want effeminate men who are fêting us at every moment, but yes to
be better understood might work to smoothen a relationship. So recently when I
met an ardent reader of this column who pleaded with me to write about ‘what do
women essentially want in a man, i'd really like to know, they baffle me!’ I thought , yes, I’d ask some of them to say
what are those special traits that would clinch it for them in terms of falling
for the ‘right’ man, or what are the major put offs in their book?
‘Freeloaders’ and ‘name
droppers’ are the big put offs, that make women want to run a mile. I came across a guy who would ask a woman out, boast about untrue feats and then bbm his friend to take the bill 'I'm going through a rough patch , could you pick up the tab while I pretend to prevent you from paying?" he's write!!!
On the other hand some assume that overdoing the ordering at a restaurant, showing off brands , flashy belts with the Hermes ‘H’, glitzy shoes and big talk makes them appealing. I recently met a man at the club whose opening line was how he knew and had dinner with a well known industrialist ‘so often’. Until that second I’d thought him a pleasant sort. It just took that one second to change my opinion.
On the other hand some assume that overdoing the ordering at a restaurant, showing off brands , flashy belts with the Hermes ‘H’, glitzy shoes and big talk makes them appealing. I recently met a man at the club whose opening line was how he knew and had dinner with a well known industrialist ‘so often’. Until that second I’d thought him a pleasant sort. It just took that one second to change my opinion.
On a serious note, what
women want is a man that makes them feel special and the best way to do that is
to peruse her with consistence and understatement. Men give up so easily simply
because a woman didn't respond exactly the way they hoped when they approached
her.
Even husbands retreat
emotionally because their wife isn't as playful as she was when they first
dated. Women want men with whom they can experience a more meaningful,
emotionally-fulfilling experience with you than she would with most other guys.
A man who doesn’t lie
about little and big things.
A man who is the provider
and makes you feel protected, like you’ve got it all in control.
A man who is not stingy
and pernickety about ‘the small change’ metaphorically speaking.
An important one that
most women came up with in my questionings and one that I endorse most
agreeably is attention. A man who makes you feel like you are the only woman in
the whole world, like he’s proud of you, and whose eyes are not roving about
the place when you are with him. It is a major put off when a man looks at the
knees of a PYT (pretty young thing) at the next table while sitting with you......
And yes a corollary to that is that he is
interested in what you’re saying. His attention does not stray while you are
speaking.
We’re all intelligent and
the no-brainer deodorant, bad breath, smart dresser ones really don't need to
be elaborated. What does need to be spelt out is most women are wishing they
could be with a man who knows how to make her feel like a real woman.
Open doors, pull out the
chairs, take your coat, in a day and age when all this sounds obsolete it is
even more charming.
Almost every modern woman
fantasizes about meeting the kind of man who has the confidence to walk up to
her, start a conversation and be natural and charismatic. It is a common myth
that women will go upto a man and strike up a conversation, that is only
rampant in movies.
Nisha JamVwal
7 comments:
Very well written. Was hoping you would write this piece sometime.
Its interesting how you write about "Open doors, pull out the chairs, take your coat, in a day and age when all this sounds obsolete it is even more charming."
We somehow tend to forget these things sometimes!
i thought i had heard most of it but it is good to read it all the way you write it. hopefully i will retain it better. Look forward to opening the door.
It was pretty informative and yet it seems like the thoughts of a woman who has seen it all and is now not really impressed by a man dropping names..But if you were to see most middle class girls, they would be swept off their feet by a man who would drop names and talk of brands. And a miniscule number of women are rich or in the elite circle. Also most middle girls like to loudly proclaim their association with a man who is connected and wealthy. And it is only the very rich women who expect a man to be having all those traits...most lower middle class women are just happy and pleased..to have a man...and will never give a second thought to his attributes or body odour...for them its about that meal..and basic security..but a rich woman who has everything has the luxury to judge and expect..but she is not even one percent of india..
It was pretty informative and yet it seems like the thoughts of a woman who has seen it all and is now not really impressed by a man dropping names..But if you were to see most middle class girls, they would be swept off their feet by a man who would drop names and talk of brands. And a miniscule number of women are rich or in the elite circle. Also most middle girls like to loudly proclaim their association with a man who is connected and wealthy. And it is only the very rich women who expect a man to be having all those traits...most lower middle class women are just happy and pleased..to have a man...and will never give a second thought to his attributes or body odour...for them its about that meal..and basic security..but a rich woman who has everything has the luxury to judge and expect..but she is not even one percent of india..
Fabulous view from a woman of substance, a man often wonders what makes complex women tick.
I like!
and my answer is that almost every man fantasizes about meeting the kind of woman who has the confidence to walk up to him, start a conversation and be natural and charismatic.
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