Monday, July 11, 2011

Getting Out Of A Violent Relationship

Violence & Abuse Is Like a Drug, It holds You Supressed & Captive

Like a Trapped Animal
You Cannot Run
You Cannot Breathe
You Cannot Live



If you are in a bad relationship , and you are unable to get away, nearly like some terrible binding rope, you cant live without it and you cannot live with it situation, some awful drug which has you in its clutches, then slowly work it out of your system.



So that there is no withdrawal symptom. So that you don't shock or jerk a traumatized psyche that needs to be worked upon gently.

It works wonders for bad marriages, violent marriages where you know you must get out and yet you are unable to due to inner strife and inability to just cut off. We all understand the feeling. Plan in your mind that you have to slowly, by giving yourself strength in the ensuing time, pull away. 

Start removing the shackles that those rose tinted glasses created upon him, the veneer slowly falls and the monster you failed to recognize emerges.

Counsel Yourself. You can be the kindest person in YOUR OWN LIFE.

So even while you conduct things normally, you are counseling yourself slowly steadily and smartly withdrawing from this awful venom. 

Whatever you do, don't at this time be too objective, because if you are sure it isn't working for you the worst idea is to play the devil’s advocate and dither. 

Make up your mind this way or that and go for the kill.

My best technique and it works like magic. Don't do an immediate abort on a now on now off relationship which is just not easy to snip out of your life, it’s very hard on the heart, do a slow planned withdrawal like a cooling off after a hard workout. 

It allows you time to think things over and not do an irrational eject out of something that might weather the storm. Let your partner not even know it’s your contemplation until you are decided or he may become more violent, on and off like a switch is incorrect to your partner and you. 

Whatever you do please don't hear sad soulful Julio Iglesias or maudlin Hindi songs instead go for the rambunctious Hip Hop or Techno.

Through life’s roller coaster ups and downs, if you’re the person who lives life to the fullest, there are bound to be some heart breaks. One just has to learn to live without fear and love without too much trepidation. 

Through my writing career I have seen some of the most beautiful people from within and without go through the most terrible relationships and heartache. 

From Marilyn Munroe to dansuesse Vani Ganapathy no one is spared and each thinks his hurt is the worst. Everyone goes through heart ache!

But life’s beauty is that all wounds heal

Raveena Tandon it was who quoted to me through her leanest phases post a much publicized bad break up an oft heard but well endured saying 

“There is no better time than right now to be happy, happiness is a journey, not a destination. So work like you don't need money, dance like no one's watching, and love like you've never been hurt.”

Nisha JamVwal


Nisha JamVwal nishajamvwal@gmail.com
Tweet Nisha @nishjamvwal

Published in Deccan Chronicle & Asian Age
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